Amazing things happen when men embrace unexpected fatherhood. In this live AMA, father and influencer PJ Sparks empowers men to prepare for fatherhood and support their partners in the process.
Whether you’re facing this challenge right now or you know men someone who is, PJ has a timely message for all of us about the importance of fatherhood and standing by her when it matters most. Click the video below and hit start at the 3:11-mark to watch.
Here are the highlights of the show.
[7:34] PJ discusses racial injustice as a person of color: PJ views racial injustice in America as a heart problem. There are systems in place that have perpetuated injustice, but those systems were created by real people. We all need to look inward first and foremost. Inward reflections can effect lasting change.
[12:55] When PJ first heard “I’m pregnant”: PJ and Jessica had known each other since middle school, dating on and off throughout high school and college. PJ was in his second year as a college football player in North Dakota when Jessica told PJ she might be pregnant. PJ and Jessica broke down crying, but PJ whispered, “It’s okay, I’m here. This is not just a you-thing. This is an us-thing.” They have now been married for six years.
[31:05] How PJ’s mentors empowered him to stand by her: It’s not just about what you say, but how you say it. After a heated argument one day, PJ and Jessica went to their pastor for counseling. Their pastor told PJ the truth, but he did so in a loving and caring way. PJ also remembers forming a powerful relationship with his stepdad before he passed a couple years ago. His stepdad encouraged him to take himself out of the picture and let his love for his family lead the way.
[40:26] What every young man should know about standing by her: Men need to know who they are and be willing to ask for help. Even PJ is still trying to figure things out, but what’s important is that he’s better today than he was yesterday. Once you have clarity on what you want to accomplish in your relationship and with your kids, the steps to get there will become clear.
[46:26] PJ’s advice for young men experiencing unplanned pregnancy right now: There are some moments where your entire world seems to be flipped upside-down. This might not seem like everything you’ve wanted, but what’s about to happen will be one of the biggest blessings of your life if you choose to take responsibility and accept it. Embrace the challenge to stand by her and stand by your child. You are literally changing the culture already.
[50:43] How PJ’s life as a father is different than what he imagined: What PJ thought mattered didn’t. God has given him everything he’s asked for in a way he never could’ve imagined. He’s sitting on his couch with his wife, and his kids are laughing in the swimming pool in the backyard. “I know God’s hand is woven into this,” he says.
[54:38] How PJ’s dad helped him embrace fatherhood: PJ told his dad about the unplanned pregnancy two weeks after the pregnancy test. His dad immediately said he was excited for him and proud of him. Although their relationship was rough when PJ was young, they eventually saw each other not as father and son but as two men trying to understand each other. They viewed each other not as who they are but as who they will be. PJ’s kids love when grandpa visits, and that commitment as a grandfather has only further empowered PJ’s commitment as a father.
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